I see people getting up, they’re exercising, they’re learning new skills, and all that stuff. I don’t know how the fuck people manage. I can barely get out of bed,do you know what I mean? It’s very, very strange,and I’m still trying to, obviously, adjust to the new normal, as it were. But obviously, it’s extremely important that everybody’s health comes first and stuff, but it’s not been an easy ride. I got drunk by myself for the first time last week, which was the most bizarre thing ever, but it definitely passed the time. But it’s just such a strange, strange time, and obviously, hopefully,it’s all over soon, when everyone’s kind of safe and healthy. I was in the studio with my friends, TMS, who I wrote the song with, who I also wrote “Someone You Loved” with, and I was in with my other friend, Phil pleated, and we were all just kind of writing. My album was done, it might have actually been released at this point, so it was kind of doing its thing.
We were just kind of writing for writing’s sake, and, yeah, this song was about something that I’d never written about before, which was about my aunt who took her own life when I was really young. Basically, with my album, I’d written about relationships and stuff enough for me, do you know what I mean? I was kind of like done with that. There’s only so long you can whine about a girl that doesn’t like you on an album. It was just something that’d been thinking about and I’d been discussing with my parents a bit more. And, obviously, as I was getting older I kinda started to think about it a bit more. So, yeah, and it just felt like something that would be, that I really wanted to write about. It kind of sets the song off on the wrong foot, do you know what I mean? Like the song itself is saying I wish I would’ve known and I wish I would’ve helped you, but the song, it starts with this really negative like I hate you for this and I hate, it really, for me, it was just like an interesting way to open it. And, obviously, an accurate representation of what my mother had felt, or what people in that position might feel at some point.
There is this anger there but it’s almost instantly followed by this kind of feeling of like guilt, or like as you say,kind of regret of this. As soon as someone is gone from our lives, we automatically, in that kind of way, I think you can automatically kind of go, well, what could I have done here, what did I need to say? This instant jump to a position of like blaming someone else and then blaming yourself like immediately after. With any death, it doesn’t matter if it’s like, in what means the death happened, or whatever, it’s like wounds never really heal, you just kind of start to plaster over it and kind of just step back,do you know what I mean? Because it’s like, at the end of the day, I still grew up without an aunt. All those things that would’ve happened, I’ll never experience. And my mom obviously lost a sister, and all the family stuff. So I think, yeah, I’ve always took issue with that time can heal all wounds sort of thing, and I’m like that, well, what if I have to get my leg cut off? That’s not healing at any point, do you know what mean? In general, but I think it’s just quite, for me, like an interesting thing to think.
For me, that’s kind of the crux of the song, and that’s where it becomes clear the song isn’t about a kind of relationship and it becomes a bit more clear what the actual meaning underneath the song is. I kind of wanted that to belike this kind of last letter that you write to someone,do you know what I mean? If you could say one last thing, what would it be? Always say that before you go, it’s like just grab them quickly, just before they leave the house, sort of thing, do you know what I mean? It’s that if you could have that moment, what would you say? So the second verse I sayreplay instead of replace. I switch them around, and that’s because I feel like keeping that second kind pre-chorus familiar was really important for me leading into this next chorus. That point as well, I’m not talking necessarily from either perspective,I mean in general. Yeah, I think, for me,that’s the part of the song where I’m saying like, talk to each other, do you know what I mean? Let’s actually fucking speak to each other. As I said, it’s not assigned to anyone personally, it’s more about, yeah, the general kind of solution of it. And then, of course,back to the helplessness of I guess we’ll never know, sort of thing.
But I think, for me, that’s the sort of, I don’t wanna say teachable moment because I sound like a cock, but teachable moment, because it’s like you’re saying, unfortunately we’ll never know, but I think it’s just kind of, yeah, try encourage people to maybe open up a bit more and reach out to the people around them who may be struggling, especially now with all this going on. Like, it could really make a difference in someone’s life just to reach out, give them a call, and do you know what I mean,just open up a bit more. Some of my favorite songs are just the first section of a song, and then repeated in a second, like, the whole song,do you know what I mean? It’s like the same the whole way through.